


The Way He Spoke(zouis)

by 16met18, sparklylarrypubes



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Insecure Louis, M/M, Protective Zayn, This Is STUPID, alot, also, and sometimes zayn wants to kick harry's ass, but zouis is so fucking cute, i really love Louis, i really love zayn, larry - Freeform, like a lot, like for real bruh, maybe a little drugs, more than he should, really talks about how small AND PRETTY louis is, so lets just combine them shall we, this is horribly written dont judge me ', this is so extra, this is the first thing ive ever posted LIKE EVER SO IF ITS BAD IM SORRY 4, wtf am i doing with my life, zayn loves louis, zouis is really hot to btw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-03-04 09:24:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3062528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/16met18/pseuds/16met18, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparklylarrypubes/pseuds/sparklylarrypubes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is hurting. Zayn wants to love him. Somethings you just know are meant to be and were they?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. this is like the prolouge so chill fam

The Way He Spoke  
(prolouge)

His head felt heavy. Every time he blinked, his vision became fuzzier, the world spinning. Both of his hands were shaking. He couldn't even stand up straight. Loud shouts all around him, he mumbled to himself, wobbling back and forth, brushing up against the brick walls he passed by. He didn't know what was going on, but he figured drugs.

And sadly, he liked it. 

He found it easier to breathe, made the pain numb.

Smiling to himself, he ran his fingers through his hair, laughing at nothing and everything. 

"Don't need you now, Harold." He whispered, a sickening grin plastered across his face. 

"Drugs always make it better." 

Tears were rolling down his face as he slid down the cold brick wall. He furiously wiped the tears away, closing his eyes, feeling the drugs seeping into him. The pain was numbed, but it was still there.

{***}

He woke up, his head resting against a metal garbage can. His head was pounding, his mouth felt cottony, he could feel the blood flowing throughout his body. Whatever he took last night made him feel everything intensely. Even the fly buzzing past his ear made him cringe.

Exhaustion came over him and he just wanted to go back to sleep, but it was cold and he didn't realize until now that he shivering, teeth chattering.

He pushed himself up, almost tipping over, still being unbalanced. Vision a little better. He tried walking, taking baby steps. Sighing, he started to feel sobs coming on, but swallowed him, refusing to cry anymore. No, not anymore. It wasn't worth it. 

Up ahead, he saw a bar, Tinsel, in big, gold and sparkly, loopy, letters. He squinted, the glare from the sign hurting his eyes. Seeing nothing else, he began to walk towards it, not even caring that it was obviously unsafe, he just wanted some company, any company, someone who would listen and attempt to care.

Harold. That's who he wanted, but Harold didn't want him, even though he always gave his all, did all he could so Harold would let him stay, but nothing worked. So mindlessly, he walked closer and closer to the bar.  
{***}

Zayn was worried.Mostly upset and disappointed in Josh. He'd gone and drugged yet another person. This time a pretty, small man who looked so fragile, like he was about to collapse any minute, holding back tears. And no matter how many times Zayn had tried to stop Josh, he just exclaimed, 

"Just having some harmless fun, relax. What do you care, you don't even know the guy." 

Yes, that was true, but beside the point. This man was...he was different. Zayn could see it in the way he walked, talking quietly as he asking for another drink. It made Zayn want to hold him in his arms, never let him go, cater to his every need. Yes this was a little extreme when he didn't even know the man's name, but once again, beside the point. There was just something about him that drew Zayn so close.

{***}

Gripping the cold door handle, he pulled it open, suprised it was unlocked. It was weird, but he didn't care.

It was warm and he was still shivering, so he cautiously walked in. The lights were on, but he saw nobody. This kept getting more strange, but right now he had no morals, nothing mattered. Just finding someone who would listen was all that concerned him.

He walked slowly, each step he took echoed off the walls. The stacked chairs and walls seem to be closing in on him. Just then, there was shuffling and a low grunt coming from the back of the bar. Turning around, he saw a door slightly open, light poking out of it as he walked towards it. He was taking yet another risk. Who knows what was behind that door. 

Then there was a muffled yell and this time his blood went cold, the heat around him didn't warm him anymore. He was about 2 or 3 inches away from the door and he could see something (or someone)'s shadow. He called out a hoarse and shaky,

"Hello?"

He was breathing quietly, scared of getting caught. He inched forward and then called out again, 

"Hello?"


	2. okay this is still the beginning so not really a chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its very short, sorry about that

"Josh? That you?" A voice said loudly.  
He stopped suddenly. Through the crack of the door he could see chairs stacked up and red party cups and other pieces of trash littered the floor.  
He still stood there, too worried and scared to go anywhere else. His heart was racing as the man behind the door contiuned,

" I need to talk to you. About last night." 

Last night? He was drugged last night. He knew it, There was no other explanation.

" 'Member that pretty guy? The-um-one you drugged? " The man behind the door's voice wavered like he was nervous.

Okay maybe he was talking about someone else??

"Yea." He squeaked out. What the fuck, he wasn't making anything better.

"He had, like, turquoise eyes and tan skin, with, like, feathery brown hair and um-"

The man behind the door kept describing him perfectly, his sharp jawline, and (as the man said) 'cheekbones crafted like art'. The man's clothed shoulder was visible, it was gray, like a suit. What was a business man doing in a bar? 

He was curious about who this man was, describing him so accurately. But he also wanted the man to contiune to talk. Whoever was behind that door had a wonderful voice. Deep and low, his accent absouletly beautiful sounding incredibly intelligent when he spoke. The man sounded artistic, the way he was describing him, like a work of art, a masterpiece, which he was no where near.

"-had a pretty nice bum too, I mean I've never met him so it's not like I'm crushing him or anything-" the man behind the door paused and he swore he heard him whisper 'maybe'.  
"It's just since, ya know you drugged him, I was like, worried about him n stuff.."

Silence. Something fell behind the door.

"Dammit Josh, c'mere and help me."

That's when the door opened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really happy you read this. I'll be even happier if you leave kudos ya know just click it once. All it takes. :) But no really, thanks for reading this, your fab


	3. And I Can Still See Blue Velvet Through My Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay so it deleted the first part so sorry if it isn't as great as it should be. Louis cries, and Zayn just happens to be there. Title from Blue Velvet by Lana Del Rey aka the queen

Zayn stood there, the man he was just describing right in front of him.

The pretty man stood there, his turquoise eyes wide with fear, chewing on his bottom lip He didn't know this man, what if he hurt him? Judging by the way he was staring at him, maybe he was a rapist..

They just stood there drinking in each others beauty.

Zayn just couldn't stop staring, and who could blame him? The man was so beautiful to look at, he had the most amazing eyes, they were a magnificent shade of blue, yet sometimes you could see tiny little green specks when the light hit him just right.

The pretty man's face slowly grew red, Zayn's stare intense.

''W-were you t-talking about me?'' The pretty man stuttered out. Why didn't he ask why the hell was he staring at him like that? It didn't even occur to him, that it was unusual, that some random man described him to perfection. There was something definitley wrong with that.

Zayn's mouth turned up at his cuteness. This man was so fucking small, he looked like such a kitten, it made Zayn just wanna, just wanna.. well he didn't know, but he knew he wanted him. (Remember, you still don't know his name.) Minor detail

And next thing he knew, the pretty man's mouth opened and then:

"I think your voice is really pretty and- and you have such a way with words and plus y-your very beautiful.''

Okay so maybe the drugs hadn't worn off, and maybe he wasn't mad that he just said that.

Zayn's mouth was slightly parted, speechless.

He began to smile, his heart fluttering at the words that had came out of this gorgeous man's mouth. ( Fluttering hearts? Already? )

" Thank you. " Zayn finally said grinning big.

The man blushed, smiling back at him, his heart pounding, toes wiggling.( He tended to do that when he was nervous)

Zayn held out a hand to the pretty man.

'' 'M Zayn ."

The pretty man slipped his hand into Zayn's squeezing softly.

" Louis.'' Louis said with a close lipped grin, his eyes twinkling.

''God, your so pretty.'' Zayn whispered to himself, but Louis heard him. Louis couldn't stop staring at him, his bright hazel eyes sparkling, as he gave Louis a feeling he'd never felt before, a feeling he never felt with Harry. Which was weird because he was with him ( 3? or was it 4? He didn't remember.) however many years, and yet, Harry never made him feel like this. Beautiful, like he was something or someone, like he belonged.

Zayn had taken a step closer to Louis and he smelled like cigarettes. Louis didn't like cigarettes. They brought up something he'd really like to forget, but on Zayn, he liked it. It complete his 'look', so to speak.

"Wanna come back here ?" Zayn whispered, staring into Louis eyes, gesturing to the door behind him. Now, anyone in their right mind wouldn't come into a back room with a complete and total stranger but, a) Louis wasn't in his right mind and b) Zayn just gave him this feeling of safety, his smile was friendly, he felt so natural and not forced to be around him.

 

Don't get in over your head, you literally just learned his name, Louis thought to himself.

 

Louis nodded as Zayn took Louis' small hand, pulling him into the room, onto the couch. The room was small and he was really close to Zayn, almost on his lap. And this didn't seem to bother either of them.

''So what brings ya here?'' Zayn asked with another dazzling smile and fuck there was that feeling again. Louis had never met someone so beautiful in his life.

Well there was Harold and yea, he was okay, but compared to Zayn.. Zayn's beauty wasn't just on the outside.

"I, um well, I was drugged, as you know, and um I had no place to stay, and I didn't know where I was, and I'm sorry if I'm a bother, I promise I won't be..'' Louis whispered, tears escaping, all traces of a smile gone.

Zayn hadn't said anything and Louis just knew, he knew he would have to leave, and he stood up, Zayn gently pulled him back, this time he was sitting on his lap. Louis looked at Zayn, sighing and just let him pull him into his chest, sobbing loudly, his small frame shaking with tears.

God, this was heartbreaking for Zayn, to watch as Louis cried in his lap, the pain taking over his body, and shit, he wanted to kick this guy's ass, make him feel the pain he was giving this boy in his lap.

Zayn began to rub Louis' back soothingly, his chin resting on Louis' pretty hair as the small man hiccuped and shook and Zayn just kissed his head, his heart heavy, on the verge of tears himself.

''Lovely, it'll be alright okay? They didn't deserve you anyway.'' And Louis just sat in Zayn's lap, wondering:

Wondering if he ever loved Harry.

 

Wondering if Harry ever loved him.

 

Wondering where the fuck he was going after this.

 

 

Wondering why, here in a bar, on Zayn's lap, felt so right.

 

Slowly, Louis began to stop crying, his breaths shaky, sniffling. He lifted his head off Zayn's chest, still in his lap, looking Zayn straight into his eyes, his heart pounding. This time there was no space in between the two. Only the small space in between their two lips...

Louis' eyes were puffy and red, his heart was heavy in his chest, as him and Zayn just stared at each other just like when they had first saw each other.

And Zayn couldn't believe just how beautiful Louis was, his eyes shining and Zayn whispered,

 

" How is it that you still look so beautiful even when you're crying?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you kept on reading huh? So happy, very happy, thanks for that. Sorry if it sucks, this is the second time i'll have to type this. So leave kudos maybe?? p.s idk about the ending of this so yea its kinda bad bc i didnt know how to end it so sorry about that. My name's Destanie btw. I hope you liked it.


	4. Put Me On Your Black Motorcycle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, the vehicle is not a motorcycle, it's actually a SUV, but it's all good because it's the whole concept ahhh fuck it. This is basically a lot of protective zayn and louis just going along with it because, he's just ya know, his mind his boggled. The title is from Yayo by the one the only lana del rey

After Louis cried and explained to Zayn that he did indeed have nowhere to go, Zayn just insisted (of course) that Louis come and stay with him, and maybe, just maybe, that's what Louis wanted. And he realized that he did want to be with Zayn longer, no matter what, being in his lap at that moment, he couldn't explain it, it just felt so right. Like you knew that this was meant to be. 

So now, the boys sat in Zayn's black SUV, Louis head resting up against the window, eyes drooping, sleep slowly began to take over his body, as he groggily asked Zayn  
"Where are we going"

"Well," Zayn begun as he started the truck. "I'm going to drop you off at my place so you can get settled in, get you some rest, some food if you want, whatever you need, and then I'll be off to work.''

Louis just nodded, barely there, just really happy and grateful for someone like Zayn. 

They drove in silence, Zayn keeping a close eye on Louis so he wouldn't chop his neck off with the seat belt. Zayn kept thinking more and more about this (man?) person that hurt Louis. (He was pretty sure Louis was gay) And Zayn being Zayn, a business man that got what he wanted, when he wanted, because he wanted, simply because he was Zayn Malik, all he needed was the guy's first and last name. Then he could find out everything he needed to know to get Louis' things, so Louis could live with him and- whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA. Zayn was planning a life out for someone that he met like 10 minutes ago...but Louis looked like he wouldn't mind. Right? Zayn looked over to Louis, his eyes closed, mouth slightly opened, looking so calm that Zayn almost crashed, because if you thought he looked pretty when he was awake, imagine how beautiful he looks when he was sleeping.

 

{***}

Louis opened his eyes and saw Zayn, smiling down at him, his eyes sparkling in admiration, and that made Louis smile, for the first time that he could remember, it was real and not forced, he felt Zayn caress his cheek and shit, Louis wanted to cry again, he really didn't deserve this. 

"Louis?" Zayn said softly, thumbs still on Louis' cheek.

"Mhmm?" Louis mumbled out, not even able to form words, Zayn was breathtaking, made him forget how to speak.

"Do you mind telling me the person that hurt you, the one you were upset about earlier?" Was that subtle? Hopefully...

Louis was wide awake and could see in Zayn's eyes, the concern, that he might actually care and Louis took a deep breath and let him know:

"Harold. Well, his real name is Harry, Harry Styles. I never knew if he ever loved me or not...but he just kicked me out, didn't even let me get my stuff, just told me to fucking get out, like I was nothing, that all those times and days and everything we spent together meant nothing and I.." Louis just stopped, a lump forming in his throat, he wanted to cry, but he couldn't there was nothing left, no more tears, his eyes just burned with pain, just like his heart. 

"Listen," Zayn started, " I can tell that Harry meant a lot to you, an awful lot, and I know what im about to say is probably not going to help, but you need to hear it: you and harry are over. And I think you needed to hear that, so maybe you can start to get over him."

Louis just sat, staring at Zayn, emotions flying everywhere, he muttered a simple " Thank you."

 

Zayn shook his head, it was Louis he had to thank. " Nevermind that Louis. I'll call you later alright? Try to get some rest, there's food downstairs, don't hesitate to ask for anything, Elsa is downstairs if you need her..." Zayn tapped his foot in thought and Louis frowned.

"Elsa from Frozen??" 

Zayn burst out laughing, playfully shoving Louis. 

"No, not from frozen, you mong, she's the housekeeper." Zayn smiled at Louis, who smiled back and they just ogled each other for a good 2 minutes until Zayn realized that he was running ten minutes late.

"Son of a bitch," he cursed under his breath, as he scrambled around, recollecting his things. 

"I'll call you Louis, bye!" Zayn said, giving Louis a quick kiss on the cheek before running out the door. 

The kiss was quick, and it was sloppy, a little juicy, but it was filled with more love than Harry had ever given him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well alright ???


	5. Just Like Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay before we start let's get something straight. My name is Destanie (sparklylarrypubes) and Im the only person writing this story. 16met18 was my editor but things have changed and i have no idea how to take her off the co-author thing. So anyway back to the story....louis is all sad and in his feelings n shit and zayn comes in and is all daddy and hero (and holy shit i want that so bad) so ya.. ENJOY

Louis woke up in what he thought was Zayn's room. Pictures of his family hung up on the wall, various pieces of art. His room had sort of a vintage feel to it.

"Just like Harry." Louis whispered. God did he miss him even if he never treated him right, it was still nice to have someone next to him when he woke up and he did love Harry, well at first, but that was beside the point. Things are different now. Kind of. 

Louis didn't even know what to do. All he could feel was pain and images of Harry flashing through his mind. And here he was, lying in some random man's bed, a man that was being to nice to him for his own good. He'd probably take advantage of Louis to. Who was he kidding, Louis could lie to himself all he wanted but for Zayn to hurt him or anyone else was a lie and he knew it. Louis sighed, closing his eyes, falling asleep to the nice memories of him and Harry.

{***}

 

 

{***}

 

 

{***}

Zayn had decided (after asking his secretary to do a background check to make sure he wasn't a creepy weirdo) to go visit this Harold. Pulling up to this big, white country ass lookin ass house, he laughed out loud. It was so basic. He didn't even care that he was throwing shade, he just knew he was basic. Stepping out of his car, sighing as he walked towards the door, he just wanted to get this over. And as long Harry didn't talk any shit, he would be done quickly. 

Zayn stood on the front porch and before he even rang the door bell, the door swung open, a tall, long haired, blood shot green eyes, man stood in front of him. 

 

"Where's he at?" The man growled at Zayn.

Zayn cocked an eyebrow at him. He obviously didn't know who Zayn was, and he obviously didn't know that it wasn't everyday he showed up on someone's porch and he better check his tone before Zayn slaps the sh-  
"HELLO? WHERE IS LOUIS?" Harry yelled, tapping his worn out boot on the ground, arms folded, sassy look on his face.

Zayn gasped. He did NOT just yell at him. Oh hell no.  
"Listen. I'm taking care of Louis now, so I came to tell you , you are an ass for ever doing that to that poor man and I hope you rot in hell. Have Louis' things ready by tonight."  


{***}

 

{***}

 

{***}  
It was really quiet. Louis thought to himself after waking up 30 minutes later. He didn't even hear the housekeeper downstairs...so Louis decided to go explore. (Because that's what your supposed to do in a stranger's big old house where there might be a killer lurking)

Sliding quietly out of the room, Louis tiptoed his way to the stair case, burgundy-colored steps in front of him. "That's pretty," He whispered to himself. So is Zayn a voice reminded him. Oh Zayn. The man that took him in, but also made him feel uneasy, no one was that nice for no reason. That's when he started think, was Zayn just using him for god knows what? Of course he didn't want to believe it but- 

Just then there was a loud shrill coming from Zayn's bedroom, almost making Louis throw himself down the steps. Who would be calling...oh right Zayn said he would call. Walking to the bedroom Louis couldn't help but think, how does Zayn actually afford this house. What is his job? Now everything that made sense earlier began to make no sense whatsoever. 

Louis debated answering the phone. What if Zayn was going to rape him? What if Zayn was going to kill him? What if Zayn was going to rape AND kill him????? The phone contiuned to shriek next to him, and holding his breath, he answered, oh god, jesus take the wheel, Zayn's voice was so pretty it made Louis sound like a gorilla. His voice in general was pretty but over the phone, it made him feel...nice, made his insides melt. 

 

"Ya heard that, Lou?" Zayn was asking and Louis wanted to scream. It was like a flashback of everything that ever happened between him and Harry. Harry always called him Lou. Always. It was so nice at first and then everything went bad from there. Louis tried to convince himself it would get better, but it never did.

"Please, Zayn don't call me Lou." Louis said quietly.

And without any question, Zayn replied, "Alright.''

Louis was so grateful Zayn didn't ask and he respected that he didn't as well. Unlike Harry...

 

"Thank you. A lot Zayn, for everything. " Louis whispered, everything he said nowadays was a whisper, like he was afraid to talk any louder,afraid to speak up. 

"Right, well I'll see you around 4 yea?" 

 

"Yea."

 

 

"And you'll call me if you need, yea?"

 

"Yea."

 

Zayn paused, sighing. Harry was horrible, and he could hear the pain in Louis' voice, see it in his eyes. No one deserved to ever feel that way. Especially not Louis.

 

"And Louis?"

 

"Yea?"

 

" Don't waste your time caring about people who lie to you and make you feel less than, because you are wonderful, and deserved to be treated that way, so trust and believe that since your with me now, you are going to feel exactly that."

 

Louis sat there, phone pressed to his face, eyes watering up, mouth slightly opened, and that's when he knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well i had writers block idk how good this is tell me please i think like the second half is horrible because that's when i had writers block sorry to disappoint u ppl


	6. To Be Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright so after the tragedy in the last chapter i really appreciate you staying strong, ur cool, very cool. i respect you man. lol. anyway, so this chapter..Louis just realizes a lot of things, its kinda just a look through Louis' mind. Him and Zayn talk about things, Louis thinks of loneliness. Like we all do at night. Okay let me start before my mind goes on a different journey..im actually supposed to be doing my biology hw but oh well.. (title from hozier's album and thats the name of the song so yea)\  
> p.s. sorry if there are mistakes and whatnot the stupid fucking thing deleted the update. dammit u

After talking to Zayn, Louis needed some time to think that letting someone cater to his every need was the best thing he needed right now. Don't get him wrong, this is very nice, and Louis was very grateful it's just, he didn't know. Didn't know if what he was doing was right. I mean he just got viciously rejected by the person he loved of course he was going to be sad, he was going to take any amount of attention he could get. Some things were only temporary and what if what Zayn was trying to give him was just that? A temporary love? Maybe it was all Louis needed right now. But then again, how long did it take for Louis to fall for Harry??

{***}

 

 

 

{***}

 

 

{***}

 

Zayn had decided to get chinese (you could never go wrong with chinese right?) and then go home to Louis. He wanted desperately to get to know Louis. Find out what Harry did, and make sure not to make the same mistakes. If him and Louis were ever going to be anything, he wanted to be the best he could be.

Grabbing his phone and scrollling through his contacts to find home he tapped it and waited. He really wanted to hear his voice.

 

"Hello?" Louis voice groggily answered.

 

 

"Oh, sorry babe did I wake you?"

"No,"Louis sounded distant. Like he was thinking about something, not really focused at all. Zayn just focused on the steady beat of his breathing.

 

Silence.

 

 

 

"You alright?"

 

 

 

 

"Why do you ask so many questions?" Louis snapped.

 

 

Well, alright.

 

"Because I care." 

 

Instant response:

 

 

"Why?"

And the thing was Zayn didn't know why he was doing this for Louis. "I'll talk about about this when I get home."

 

Zayn had said it like it was their home. Well, Louis WAS living there now, as was Zayn. So it was their home.

 

{***}

 

 

 

 

 

{***}

 

 

 

 

{***}They sat in silence, forks clinking the pretty flower glass plates.(why'd zayn get these plates out? louis was pretty and he deserved it) Zayn was wondering why. Louis was wondering why.

 

And the silence was forcing words out of Zayn:

"What happened with you and Harry?"( As if that was any of his business.)

 

Zayn watched Louis' face. First, he was shocked, then tried to hide it, then there was a mixture of emotion written across his face:

 

sad

 

mad

 

 

annoyed

 

pain written in his eyes, he swallowed his food just as Zayn began to speak

 

 

: "Look, Louis, sorry, I've been invading your personal space, I'm so so-"

 

"Stop." Louis said firmly.

 

 

Zayn frowned. "Stop what?

 

 

"You apologize for everything."

 

Louis said. He wasn't even looking at Zayn, trying not to show the tears forming as all of the memories came all flooding back:

 

 

"Harry I do love you, put the drink down!"

 

 

"YOUR LYING!!"

 

 

"please harry...."

 

 

{***}

 

 

 

 

 

 

{***}

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

{***}

 

 

Zayn didn't mean to. Honest. And now Louis might leave him. He couldn't let that happen. Marching to the bathroom door, Zayn began knocking softly, than gradually began banging, doing anything to get Louis to come out.

 

"Louis,please, whatever it is, I'm here, and if I did something, I'm really sorry.." Zayn sighed, biting his lip, trying not to cry, he felt so horrible.

 

 

 

"You didn't do anything." Louis finally whispered.

 

 

 

"It was him, it was always him."

 

 

 

 

{***}

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

{***}

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

{***}

 

 

 

 

 

(OKAY SO THIS PART IS EMOTIONAL. I'M SERIOUS LIKE IT HAS LOUIS PARTIALLY TELLING ZAYN ABOUT HARRY AND ITS SAD )

"Harry had gotten abused as a child, he used to always tell me whenever I didn't make "love" to him,

 

'don't be like mother now,'

 

with tears in his eyes, I'd make love to him because I didn't want to see him upset.

But then he started to take it to far. Like forcing himself on me, trying to have sex with me when I didn't want it. It was so scary. I convinced myself it wasn't that bad, that Harry really did love me."


	7. Baby Don't Go, Gunna Change I Swear(part!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The italized part is Louis talking about Harry btw...Basically Zayn and Louis go to get Louis' things from Harry's house well the first part of that haha (song change, from banks album goddess which banks is if u were wondering)

_"It was like a business. I put my all into the relationship, making sure Harry was happy, instead of making myself happy._

 

_"He got drunk, he had so many problems-or struggles I should say:_

 

_depression_

_bipolar_

_short-tempered_

_alcoholic_

_commitment issues_

 

_"I'd come home from working 14-18 hours a day, to Harry, drunk in bed with some blonde bloke with milky pale skin and big ocean blue eyes and I'd watch from the door, them making love and Harry made no effort to stop. The first time that happened-or that I saw- I was so upset and Harry cried and begged me to stay. He used so many excuses just for that one time and I probably should've known that that was it. All i cared about was that Harry was dating me, not that other guy._

 

 

 

_"But what hurt the most throughout everything was watching as Harry did this to himself, to us, to me, I guess. I didn't even care about myself anymore, all I cared about was him. I got fired because he would always call me during work, saying to come pick him up, because he was god knows were getting god knows what. \_

 

_"Harry didn't even have a job, he was to unstable for one. We were almost for almost 2 months when I lost my job. Harry's mom-a relator- got the house that he lives in now. Pays for and everything. Really sad actually._

 

_When he put me out we were arguing because the blonde guy had taken things to far, stealing my clothes and my favorite mug among other things and I was angry with Harry, because it was like, how could you do let this happen ya know? That was the first time Harry ever got in my face, threatened me. I told him he needed help, he was killing himself, chasing people away and he just screamed at me to get out, that he hated me. I told him I was sorry, I was angry, I didn't mean it(but I did), but he pushed me out anyway, into the cold, icy, winter night and locked the door._

 

 _"And there was this empty feeling in my heart, because I missed him. But it's like, why ya know? He treated me horribly but he did love me to some extent. Or I told myself I did, because I thought I did. I keep making excuses for him because he was sick, unhealthy, hurting._  
  
  
"Never once did I ever think about myself, because I was always raised to put others ahead of myself."

 

_{***}_

 

 

 

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Louis woke up with Zayn's arms around his waist, his back against Zayn's chest, it was like a perfect fit. So many things haven't been in his life, it felt weird. In a comforting way. He wanted more, so much more. Closing his eyes back, Louis matched his breathing with Zayn's, and began to imagine his life with him. 

It would be so great to be loved....

 

 

"Hey, babe, you up?" He heard Zayn's raspy voice and it fave him tingles. So this was what it felt like when someone actually cares...it was nice.. Louis liked it.

 

"Yep,"Louis whispered, feeling Zayn get out of bed. Turning his head toward Zayn, taking in his morning sight, gorgeous as ever, if possible, even more so.

 

"Where you going?" Louis asked as Zayn ran his fingers through his long black hair( jesus fucking christ he looked like a god) and smiled at Louis, and he knew Louis knew. 

 

"Please, Zayn, don't make me go."Louis said quietly, with pleading eyes, almost made Zayn want to say no, but then he realized this was for Louis to be better, help him get over the hurt.

 

"This is for you own good, babe," Zayn said, lifting his shirt over his head, Louis sucking in his breath as he took in what stood in front of him. 

 

His pretty olive skin with these pretty tattoos on it, made him look like a work of art and Louis couldn't stop staring.

 

 

Zayn let him. He liked to think he had somewhat of a nice body, and maybe just, maybe he could help Louis take his mind off of Harry later on tonight.  
  
  
  
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The boys sat outside of Harry's house, car still running just in case Louis got to afraid. Louis was barely holding it together, Zayn was holding his hand as he shook. 

"Babe, it'll be okay, I'm right here love. If you want, you can just stay in here and I'll go get it, it's no problem, it's whatever you what to do." Zayn was whispering, reassuring Louis.

 

Louis' eyes were closed, thinking about everything that happened with Harry and now to face him again after he told him to get the fuck out, that he hated him?  He needed something else to think about, quick. Zayn.

 

"Zayn," 

 

"Yea baby?

 

"Can you do something for me?"  
  
  


Zayn nodded quickly. Was that even a question. He was pretty sure both of them knew he would do anything for him. "Anything, baby, anything."

 

"Kiss me." Louis blurted out. 

 

Awkward silence.

 

Zayn was shocked. He wanted to of course but was know the time? They were sitting outside of Harry's house. What if he came out and saw them and went crazy and hurt him, or worse, Louis?  
  
"Um, Louis, honey, do you think that's a good idea? I mean Harry's right in there-"

  
  
"Zayn." Louis said, his eyes open now, his pretty blue eyes stirring something in Zayn's stomach. 

 

"Please. Just once."

 

"I'll kiss you. But it won't be the last time." Zayn said, leaning over, his hand cupping Louis' jaw, letting his mouth move over Louis', his dry chapped lips against Louis' one.

 

Maybe it was a distraction, or maybe Louis just really wanted to kiss Zayn.

 

 

 

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Louis' hand was tightly intertwined with Zayn's, his heart beating fast, Louis trying to control his breathing as he heard footsteps coming closer and closer to the door.

Louis looked at Zayn, panic, fear, hurt, near tears, in his eyes.

"Zayn, I can't." He whispered, his bottom lip quivering. Zayn squeezed his hand tightly and whispered back

 

"Yes, you can, and yes you will, I'm right here."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well i hope u like this i really wanted u to get an update im just to sleepy to right the seconf part so here u go


	8. Baby I'm Gonna Change, I Swear ( part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mad shit happens man....mad shit ...harry and louis might get back together. its short sorry huneybuns.

"You can, and you will, I'm right here." Zayn was so great he wanted to just hop in his arms and never let go, but he was here and the door was opening and ....

 

shit.

"What is he doing here?!?" Harry spat at Louis, jutting his finger toward Zayn, sneering when he saw they were holding hands.

 

 Louis looked at Zayn, trying not to panic. Zayn nodded his head as if to tell Louis that he can do it, speak for himself. Louis swallowed the lump in his throat and spoke:

" He's here because he cares, unlike you ever did, so, please if you don't mind, can I please come in and get my things?" 

 

Holy shit man, his baby, did it! Go, Lou boo!

 

Zayn gave an approval squeezed, Louis smiled back.  Except Harry wasn't okay. He was barely holding it together, as he saw the man he had loved for the longest time was here, on his porch, ready to get his things and live with another man. No matter what he did that made Louis want to leave him, that still hurt like shit and he couldn't help himself, he fell on his knees and cried. Right in front of Louis, right in front of Zayn. 

 

Louis looked back at Zayn in panic, Zayn looking back at him, frowning. Why did Harry suddenly care now? They needed to go before Harry pulled a stunt. Tugging on Louis' hand,  "Let's go get your things Louis, we have things to do" he said, looking down on Harry, pulling Louis into the house, but Louis pulled back, bending down to reassure Harry, his hand slipping out of Zayn's, going to rub Harry's back.

 

Well, Zayn didn't like this, not one bit. And he was getting this bad vibe from Harry as he stood there and watched as Louis whispered sweet nothings in Harry's ear and- no. NO He couldn't let Louis fall and get hurt again. 

"Louis,"He said firmly,"We need to get your things and leave. Now." Zayn never used his man voice, but he seriously needed Louis to leave like now. 

Louis was holding Harry now, the curly haired boy crying onto Louis' shoulder, and Louis scowled at Zayn.   
  
"Have a heart Zayn! Maybe he didn't mean any of the things he did, he obivously feels regret, just stop trying to be the super hero for once." 

Zayn stood there, his mouth gaping open. Alright they were going to play this game. 

  
"HE"S FULL OF BULLSHIT LOUIS!" Zayn shouted and Harry replied with a loud sob. Louis just shook his head in disappointment at Zayn. 

Zayn threw his arms up, sighing loudly and turned and went up the steps. 

If Louis would've just listen to him, they would've been gone already. "Can't believe this." He murmered to himself, turning the corner, then walking into an open bedroom door. Inside was a bag labeled "LOUIS" with a small heart next to it, Zayn rolled his eyes, grabbing it and walking out and smack dab into some blonde guy.

 

Shit. This was the guy that Louis was talking about that Harry was cheating on him with. 

 

"What are YOU doing here!!!" Zayn hissed at the guy.

  
"Name's Niall, nice to meet you too." The guy scoffed. 

 

"I don't care who you are! You better get outta here, like, NOW." Zayn couldn't even believe this guy even showed up here, today of all days!

 

"You don't tell me what to do." Niall said sounding all irish-ey.

 

"Whatever." Zayn huffed pushing past him, running downstairs. Now they really needed to leave before so shit really popped off. But, no, Louis was too busy sucking Harry's face. Great.

"LOUIS!" He shouted. "LET'S GO RIGHT NOW!!" Zayn was angry now. See, this is why he didn't do nice things for people. Ungrateful thots.  

 

"You tell him what to do." Harry growled at Zayn. "Plus, he's my boyfriend anyway."   
Zayn raised his eyebrows, looking at Louis. Louis was biting his lip, nothing to say to that comment.   


"Is that true?" Zayn asked Louis. 

"I-"

 

"Course it is." Harry replied, looking at Louis. "He forgave me. Isn't that right Louis?"

 

Louis was looking between Zayn and Harry. "I, um"

 

Zayn didn't have to put up with this.   
  
"Well if that's true," Zayn said, slamming the bag down on the ground. "You can just stay your ass here, with your 'boyfriend'" Zayn said, stalking out, slamming the door behind him. 

 

 


	9. Honey, Please, Try To Love Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so this chapter is when harry-once again- fucks louis over and zayn is there for him and they're might be sme smut coming up hoe so get ya ass ready for that(song from my love will never die from hozier's debut album which u should seriously listen to if u like ed you will like him and if u dont know who im talking about its the take me to church guy. his lyrics are so fucking great, jesus take the wheel, his voice is like amazing its so wonderful and he is so passionate about his singing he puts his all in writing his songs and his vocals and lyrics show throughout that. sorry, i needed u to know)

Now, Louis was alone. Well, Harry was there. And he no longer wanted to kiss Harry anymore. To be honest, he didn't even deserve his kiss, and Louis was beginning to realize that maybe, Harry didn't deserve Louis..

 

"So," Harry said, smiling at Louis. Louis felt like the smile was fake, he didn't want Louis' love, he wanted Louis, physically and he realized the person that actually left just left the room, mad at Louis for the stunt that Harry pulled, and Louis was too nice to ignore a crying man on the floor. He was so done with this bullshit. 

"Are we back on?" Harry said. Louis was staring into Harry's eyes. There was no affection whatsoever. It was greed and lust, he was not going to let this happen like this. Getting up, shoving Harry off, he grabbed his bag of stuff and began to walk towards the door. 

 

What? It didn't work? Harry couldn't believe this. 

"Where you going Lou?" Harry asked Louis frowning.  

 

"Away from you. To Zayn. The person who cared more about me in the span of 24 hours than you ever did in four whole fucking years."  Louis was almost outside the door now, struggling to carry the large bag out of the door. 

 

No. Not this fucking time. Harry wasn't going to let Louis leave him, so he grabbed his arm, hard and growled: "You are not leaving me. It took all I fucking had not to beat that guy's ass, so you are fucking staying out of respect for me."  
  
"I don't respect you, never did, never fucking will." Louis said, his pretty eyes, sharp and icy, he rarely got angry, but towards Harry? He had nothing but anger. "Let me go." Louis said, trying to yank away from Harry without falling over the bag on the floor. 

 

Harry thought to himself. Maybe I should let him go....alright...this time I will, but if he comes back...yea, he's yours then.

 

Letting Louis go, he gave him a sloppy, wet, cold kiss and whispered, "I still love you."

 

 

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 Running outside-more like slowly walking, while dragging a bag that weighed as much as him-Louis found Zayn sitting in the exact place he left him, in the car, head on the wheel. Slowly making it to the driver's side, Louis knocked on the window, Zayn turned his head, tears stained his pretty face and Louis' heart shattered.  He never meant to hurt anyone, especially not Zayn. But Zayn being Zayn, wiped his face with the back of his sleeve, got out the car to help Louis put his bag in the trunk. Louis just watched Zayn, who silently slammed the door close, taking the bag and putting it in the car with no struggle at all. (Kinda made Louis jealous, he wanted to see his biceps and his abs and more..) 

"Get in." Zayn said hoarsely, Louis still staring at him, feeling guilty as ever, but Zayn didn't even look at him. Louis silently got into the car, looked at Zayn again and tried to think of something to say to him. 

 

"Zayn, I'm sor-"

 

 

"It's fine." Zayn said firmly, cutting Louis off. 

 

"No, I wanna tal-" 

 

 

"Nothing to talk about."

 

 

Louis sighed.   
  
"Please Zay-"

 

"Just stop Louis. Please. Your going to make things worse."

 

 

 

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Even when they got to Zayn's house, Zayn ran upstairs and locked himself in his room, (after helping Louis bring his stuff in of course, which made Louis want to stab his eyeballs out BECAUSE ZAYN IS SO FUCKING NICE LIKE WHY) Louis sat downstairs thinking why Zayn might've been upset. I mean, he had a pretty good idea why, but enough to make him cry?

 

 

Deciding that the guessing game wasn't good enough for him, Louis went upstairs, knocking on Zayn's door, and was surprised when he answered. He wasn't, however, looking the greatest. His eyes red and puffy(from crying. Louis wanted to kick himself), hair messy and tangled(he did look really hot though) his voice hoarse. (Louis felt a boner coming on)

 

"What do you want?" Zayn said, still not looking at Louis, rubbing his feet together, eyes glued to them.

 

"Just came to check on you." Louis answered quietly. 

 

They stood there, the first awkward moment was upon them.

 

"Yea, well, I'm fine, so you can go back downstairs now." Zayn sniffled. 

 

Louis huffed. "Please Zayn don't be like this."

 

 

"Shutup, you made me this way"

 

 

Oh. right.  
  
  
"Sorry. Never meant to make you upset."

 

 

"You didn't," Zayn said, his chocolate eyes finally meeting Louis blueberry ones."Tried to find so many reasons to be mad at you, just made me love you more."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY for my blabbing about hozier i really like him anyway hoped u like it, thanks for reading it you deserve a zayn hug


	10. Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a song. it describes how much it relates to the relationship louis had with harry, change by banks. its all hers, not mine to be clear. well the song is not the story. lol . sorry i'll shut up. enjoy

_"Always cold_

_While you'd self-incriminate_

_By avoiding all my questions_

_And calling me an instigator_

_Cut me down_

_Always calling me unstable_

_You can so easily make me cry_

_Just cuz you were in a mood_

_And you'd say_

 

_Call me out_

_You would say I need attention_

_Just because I put on makeup_

_To ironically look good for you_

_Cut me to pieces_

_While you watch me disintegrate_

_Cuz you like to tell me how much you hate_

_All the ways I'm not good enough for you_

_Then you'd say_

 

_Baby don't go_

_I didn't know_

_I'll change I swear_

_I'll change swear_

_Baby don't go_

_I'll make you wait_

_I promise I'll be better_

_All of these things, they will change_

 

 

_Never guilty_

_Say it ain't your fault_

_Because you had an emotionally abusive daddy_

_And cause of this you don't know how to act_

_Poor, poor baby_

_Say you can't help the fact that you'r e so crazy_

_And you're so good at making me feel guilty_

_For trying to walk away because I'm tired of being mad_

_Then you'd say_

 

_Baby don't go_

_I didn't know_

_I'll change, I swear_

_I'll change, I swear_

_Baby don't go_

_I'll make you wait_

_I promise I'll be better_

_All these things, they will change_

 

_Baby don't go_

_I didn't know_

_I'll change, I swear_

_I'll change, I swear_

_Baby don't go_

_I'll make you wait_

_I promise I'll be better_

_All these things, they will change_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoped u enjoyed that and saw what i was thinking what i was when i came up with this idea ....:) next chapter it'll be back to the story haha byee


	11. Just A Little Rush Babe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ZAYN AND LOUIS GET HIGH TOGETHER 
> 
>  
> 
> FINALLY WHAT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR
> 
>  
> 
> ZAYN GETS HIS HAIR CUT 
> 
>  
> 
> THEY MIGHT GET IT IN 
> 
>  
> 
> title from sedated by hozier

Louis wanted to forget. Wanted to forget about Harry manipulating him to stay. Wanted Zayn to forget that he was angry at him. he desperately wanted to forget....for just a little while anyway. 

 

He knew a perfect solution.

 

Wasn't the best, but it'll do.

 

For now.

 

 

 

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Louis had slept on the couch downstairs, only because he thought he deserved it. Of course Zayn tried to talk him out of it, but he had to draw a line somewhere. He didn't want Zayn to think he was taking advantage of him in anyway. 

 

Now his hip hurt from laying on it, and he wanted Zayn to come to him and cuddle with him, fill the emptiness he felt. 

 

Pushing himself off the couch, the soft rug coming in between his toes, he walked up to Zayn's room, the door slightly open. 

 

"Zayn?' He whispered. 

 

There was a low groan, and Zayn mumbled something Louis couldn't hear. 

 

"What ya say?" Louis said, this time stepping foot into Zayn's dark room, Zayn under the covers, wrapped up like a cute little burrito, only his tan shoulders peeking out. 

 

"I said go away, tryna sleep." Zayn said-fuck his morning voice shit-. 

 

"But I need to talk to you." Louis said sitting down next to him, Zayn sighed, reaching over to turn the lamp on.

 

"What is it Louis?

Louis was thinking now...was this a good idea..to ask Zayn for drugs? 

 

"You got some weed?"

 

 

Wait what the fuck. Zayn knew he just woke up and shit but, did he hear that correctly?  
  
  
  
"W-wait?" Zayn was frowning at Louis, his eyes big and blue, pleading to get high, forget everything, for now at least.

 

And Louis was looking back at Zayn, and he knew Zayn had some or knew a guy. Zayn looked like a stoner. A very fucking hot one. 

 

It was like they were sending each other telepathic messages, that Louis was convincing Zayn to get him some drugs with his mind, because next thing Zayn knew, he was sighing, sliding out of bed to throw some clothes on and get some weed for  him and Louis.

 

"YAY!" Louis said, popping up, following Zayn into the bathroom.

 

"But," Zayn said, as he looked into the mirror, running his fingers through his hair, "You can't come."  
  
Ah shit going to get the weed was the best part! 

 

"But going to get the weed is the best part!" Louis whined, his bottom lip stuck out, and fuck, Zayn just wanted to take that bottom lip into his mouth, drag it with his teeth, because fuck Louis would look so good high, his mouth wrapped around Zayn's dick, dammit this is such a great idea, he couldn't wait. 

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Now came the waiting on the weed, never fun, especially not for Louis, and-fuck-getting high with Zayn? Shit, Zayn couldn't get here fast enough!

 

As Louis sat on Zayn's soft bed sheets, his mind began to wander, he started to think about things he shouldn't be. Like sucking Zayn's dick for example. I mean, a man that pretty had to have a nice looking penis. But would it be wrong to think about that? It wasn't right? Well, at least he didn't think so...maybe Zayn would though. But Louis needed to find some things out first. Like, if Zayn even likes boys. What if that was, ya know, a support thing? Maybe he didn't really like Louis..but why would he take him in? 

 

"Stop being stupid Louis." He muttered to himself. Sometimes he just thought that things were too good to be true, like how good Zayn was too him

**Author's Note:**

> i love u like pb loves j ( wow that was creative ) aye u should follow me on twitter @iced_malik


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